Daaang!!! Check out that floor length jumper!

“Most girls will be quick to point out that lust is the guy’s problem, and she shouldn’t be liable. This is because most girls don’t understand how guys are wired. Guys are, initially, sexually stimulated visually. They are quickly moved by what they see to begin dwelling on an eventual outcome. Girls, on the other hand, are generally, stimulated by touch. Since she doesn’t commonly experience the same process of stimulation, she often isn’t cognizant of the signals or messages she is sending to the opposite sex. It is our duty as followers of Christ to recognize gender differences and processes and be careful not to cause others to stumble.” - Modesty: Developing Dress Codes

As my ministry team discussed modesty this summer, and considered some problems we’d been having with it, we brainstormed ideas about the most effective way to get girls to realize that it is kind of a big deal. At one point, we just felt like we weren’t really getting anywhere, so we decided to take a break for a little bit. As we left, our team leader/boss gave me a CD talk to listen to, claiming that it might help me think of some ideas.

As I listened to this talk, I found something very interesting in what the speaker did. At one point in the talk, he read a handful of testimony letters from men in the community. These men wrote about how the different aspects of modesty effected them, no matter how hard they tried to make it not matter. Between hearing these letters be read and remembering one moment from a little earlier in the summer, I started to create an idea to help girls care more about what we were saying.

The thought that came to my mind from the summer was a memory of multiple discussions I’d had with one of the guys I worked with. Daniel and I actually had a lot of conversations about modesty and purity in general over the few months that we were working together, and he shared a lot of things that were really helpful to know from a girl’s perspective, some of which I’ll share in a later blog.

Between those conversations, and knowing that one of the most powerful things that I’ve ever had said to me was being thanked by a guy for being modest, I came up with the plan to collect letters from young men, ranging from mid-highschool to college age, who would be willing to write about the struggle it was to be Christian and pure in today’s world, and how important it is for girls to CARE about modesty. On top of that, Daniel agreed that he would talk to the girls himself, as well as thank them for dressing modestly.

To make a long story short, it seemed to work pretty well. It tugged the heart-strings to hear young, great, Christian guys write about purity, and it meant a lot to girls to have a guy thank them for being the women of God that they’re called to be.

Now, it doesn’t stop there, because one of my awesome guy friends who wrote one of those letters was also amazing enough to give me permission to post in here on my blog too! I know,personally, that as a young woman trying to live purely and modestly, it helps so, so much to know that I’m choosing to do the right thing, because there is so much crap out there telling me otherwise. Here’s what my friend wrote:

“I try to be the best guy I can be and I can treat any girl with outright respect with whatever she is wearing. The underlying problem is the way I think on the inside however. I'm a guy, and people always say, "It's okay, I'm just a guy," and as lame of an excuse as that is, there is a little bit of truth there. When girls wear low tops or short bottoms it's my natural instinct to think, "Daaang!!" This physical attraction is obviously natural, but our society has told us that physical attraction is all there is. If you can't seduce a guy through sex appeal, then you have no hope. As a guy, naturally that's the first thing I notice, but it's become really hard for me personally because sometimes it becomes all I notice. The fact that sex appeal is such a big distraction in everyday life, however, makes me more attracted to modestly dressed women because they seem so much fuller and more real. I don't know if that makes sense but I guess since without the distraction of the details of the female body, I can see her beauty in other ways. It's tough to explain but basically I always hear guys say," She's someone you don't hook up with. She's more the marrying type." Those girls are always the modestly dressed ones, and obviously get more respect, whether the guys mean to or not. The guys don't see her as an object but rather as a person.”

Wow! Every time I read that, I feel so thankful for the young men who are trying to do the right thing. It’s encouraging to know that there actually are guys out there who appreciate the virtue of modesty. If you are a guy reading this, thank you SO much for being real and striving to remain pure. If you’re a girl, just know that there are guys out there who appreciate you. Thanks for being the amazing you that you are!