Finding out how the cookie crumbled isn't always that easy...

“Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off the relish for spiritual things then it is sin for you, however, innocent it may be in itself.” - Suzanna Wesley

Last week, I put a few things into perspective with the help of a couple different events and was inspired to write again. It seems that over time, I learn that my experiences are actually worth something, both the good ones and the bad ones, because I can share them to help others grow.

There’s an inspirational skit I watched at camp last week to the song “Slow Fade” by Casting Crowns. The skit was touching, and I applaud those who worked to put it together, but it is the song they used that really got to me.

It's a slow fade

When you give yourself away.
It's a slow fade

When black and white have turned to gray,
Thoughts invade,

choices are made,

a price will be paid
When you give yourself away.

People never crumble in a day,
It's a slow fade.

How often do we not realize that we’re heading down the wrong road, when one choice leads to another, which leads to another? The cycle is endless, until you not only stop to realize where you are, but also to ask yourself “HOW DID I GET HERE”? Simply because it didn’t happen in a day, pebbles were loosed before the wall crumbled, and now, in order to make a stronger wall, the pebbles must be built back, but this time, we include some mortar...personal rules.

Now, this simple idea can apply to any problem that someone is dealing with, but in my case, as well as in the case of this blog, it applies extremely well to matters of purity, both of body and mind. My freshman year of college, I entered a brand new world, where I didn’t really HAVE to follow the faith my parents had passed down if I didn’t want to, but I thought I did...and I thought I wouldn’t have any problems being pure. After all...I was a good, Catholic girl. But that was my downfall, because I didn’t establish rules for myself to follow.

I went on to make a lot of mistakes, allowed myself to get led on, to be used, and to do things I would have never expected of myself. That’s how EASILY sins against purity can reel you in, that’s how SIMPLE it is. All it takes is one little step, and then another, and then another, and all of a sudden, you’re at the edge of a precipice...then what do you do?

When I reached that, I was devastated...I didn’t know how I had gotten there, and I didn’t know how to go back. But as I spent time going back through person, place, and thing, I discovered that, indeed, a person does not crumble over one day. Once I discovered my weakness, I set down some guidelines for myself. Ladies, no matter where you are in your life, and no matter what your experience has been with being pure, I can tell you that some of these rules should apply to every one of us.

1. No important late night conversations with guys. If it’s just chit-chatting or telling stories with a group of friends, that’s different, but NEVER put your heart on the line late at night. At night, our emotions are heightened, and tension is much more present than during the day. The more we open up and share about ourselves, the more attached we become...and at night, we’re just more prone to sharing much more significant things much more freely.

2. No texting conversations with guys after 10pm (or a set time of your choice). It sounds silly, but think about it...what good is being done in carrying on a conversation via text message late at night before you go to bed. It’s just asking for it.

3. Hugs...nothing more. If you’re not dating the guy, you don’t need to be holding his hand, laying your head on his shoulder, or sitting too close to them. One thing can very quickly lead to another when you start to get too comfortable.

4. Don’t bring up the future, vocations, or desires of the heart in conversation. Need guy advice? That’s what your dad, your spiritual director, or other men you look up to are for. That doesn’t mean you can’t ask a guy you’re close with for advice on how to react to certain situations or how to treat a guy on a date, but be careful wit how much you share.

5. NEVER, NEVER, EVER tell a guy that you have feelings for him. Let him take the first step. If you show even the slightest interest and he’s actually interested, if he’s worth anything, he’ll come after you on his knees. If he doesn’t take the bait, he’s probably not ever going to, and it’s not worth risking heartbreak over. Girls, princesses do NOT get rejected.

In the end, following these rules are tough. The list goes on for me, but those are more personal, and fit more to my own situation as well, but I would recommend trying to follow a few (or all!) or the rules above. Setting guidelines for yourself will help you to build a stronger heart, and, in the end, you will find the TRUE Prince Charming waiting for you on the other side!